5 Years

5 years have passed and it only occurs to me that times has gone by so quickly. The truth is that I think it was just yesterday that I was involved in the whirlwind of emotions that was discovering that you were in me. First I was too afraid, then I felt very happy and as time passed and your arrival approached, the fear came again softly.

And so we went to the hospital late at night and it may sound stupid but the whole time I felt that you were”holding my hand,” I felt that you were saing everithing would be okay, I felt you camling me down. And then you came into the world without pain and with your eyes wide open you looked at me without turning away your look, you hold that look on me and at that moment my whole world changed. I don’t remenber hearing you cry but I know you did, but only until the nurse lay you on me and after we were both silent while our souls chatted.

You were always a difficult baby, made me often feel on the verge of collapse and with it you showed me how far a mother’s love can go and you showed me that being a mother is beeing elastic, always going and doing a little more when we thought we could not go any further.

Than it passed and you have become one of the world’s most loving babies. When you were a year old and I when I was going to put you to sleep you alwasy open your arms and wanted me to laid my head on your shoulder, as if you were hugging me and like if you wanted to protect me from the world.

You’re an old soul, I have said many times, you have taught me as much or even more to me than I to you.

You’re determined and you know what you want and when you want. You often ignore things I say though you are gently enought to pretend that you are hearing me and that you are actually paying any attention. I often feel despere about it but I know that this is what will protect you and will help you walking your path. As a person I like the way you are, as a mother is often difficult.

You love to paint and draw and it was only recently that your drawings evolved from doodles and scratchs to things that we realize what they are. You like stories and to do math, but you do not like the feeling of not knowing something and when you feel insecure you lack the perseverance of trying to overcame your dificulties, and so you give up until you come back to find the will to carry on.

You like Tom & Jerry more than any cartoon, and your favorite princess is Cinderella. You have nightmares with the villains of the movies and that’s why you stopped seeing the Princess and the Frog. When you choose a movies to watch you often say you do not want to see this one or that one because you’ll have bad dreams with either character, as you do with Gargamel of the Smurfs.

You have a fantastic relationship with your sister, you are maternal and I think that often you take advantage and play beeing a mothers with a real baby. When you are eating and I get up from the table you take advantage of the opportunity and feed you sister with a spoonful to her mouth and sometimes in the morning when I get up and go to your room I see the two in your bed. You are careful and you put her on her shoes when she gets up because you know that none of you should walk barefoot. You have an obsession with taking your sister to the potty!

Sure you both have fights but luckily, most of the time, you both play without fights over toys, though sometimes we get so excited playing and running around the house that it always ends up with one of you crying because it crippled . But it’s all part of the game.

You still have an inexplicable fear of dogs and discovered that you like rice pudding, both eating and doing it, so almost every week we make rice pudding for you. You also like to help me in the kitchen and you like to bake biscuits and cookies and you almost don’t need my help for that. You like to make cookies to offer to your teacher, which I think is fantastic.

You are a cookie. You’re my sweet little cookie and you are making my world go round for 5 years!